May 29, 2000: KICKOFF DATE! We had two shows. (1) The first took place at a block party near Richard's Aunt's house at around 7:45. We pulled up beside the block party in a car, I was driving and held a battery-powered amp out of the window, while Richard played his One Man Jam. We recieved stares and no applause after our 3-5 minute set, but it was still a stellar performance to kick off this amazing tour. (2) The second show was at the Solex performance at the Millvale Industrial Theater. We actually had two OOBS artists on this bill. The show consisted of (in order of appearance): Parvelus Infectus, DJ Kill(a/er), The Weather Channel, Furnace St, Solex, and the parking lot performance by the Joysticks. OOBS artist DJ Kill(a/er) had the crowd moving as he DJed his latest workings before the Weather Channel performance. The Joysticks took the stage once Solex completed their set. We jumped in front of exiting audience members with the assistance of One Man Jam, Hot Keyz, and a laser pistol. We pulled out all the stops for the first "real" show of the tour: behind the head playing, playing with the teeth, air kicks, etc. Richard even jumped off of the top of a Pepsi machine at one point and went down hard. There were even some glass smashing, video game machine destruction, and tire rolling. This 10 minute performance hooked the attention of about 20 people that stayed around to watch. We concluded by announcing official plans of the tour to everybody.   May 30 through June 1: Time off after exhausting and demanding tour kickoff. Confirmation of future tour dates and concepts development time.   June 2, 2000: Coolpepper’s Hothouse, Pittsburgh, PA - Grand Buffet's set was coming to an end around 1:30 AM, and they were the headliners. After their karaoke of "Jump," they called for The Joysticks to come up on stage to perform as part of the tour. I wheeled in Richard from the back of the room in a shopping cart, hitting a few people on our way, to the front of the stage where he fell out of the cart. We rocked with two electronic guitars for 5 minutes, Grand Buffet rapped over some beats we created with the guitars, then, it all concluded with Richard karaoking "Push It" while we destroyed an organ and the venue with a baseball bat. The venue owner had to call Richard down from the top of a Pepsi machine right in the middle of the chaos. I also ripped the shirt off of my back because we're rock and roll.   June 3: Day Off.   June 4, 2000: Mobile Performance(s) - Richard and I hit the local flea market, bought some amazing 80s metal T-shirts, and recieved some free electronics. On the ride home, we were trying to get a tape out of an answering machine to listen to on the tape deck, but it wasn't coming out. At a stop sign, with 3 cars in front of us and and back of us, I jumped out and smashed the answering machine off of the curb. It was still together, then at a busy intersection, Richard jumped out of the driver's seat during a red light and destroyed the answering machine all over the road in front of a bunch of cars/people. Finally, at Spanglestein's house, we broke a little more of it while in the car again. We will continue these mobile performances and document them with a video camera.   June 5, 2000: Club Laga, Pittsburgh, PA - Following performances from the Chicago Underground Duo and Stereolab, in the lobby on the way out of Club Laga, one could spot Manny Theiner passing out fliers, and beside him, a stop on the Joysticks' tour. I was on the ground with a 160 in 1 electronic science kit, a Ghostbusters' Proton Pack (toy), a minicassette player, and a microphone. The microphone was being run into a small, battery-powered amp, which was being held in the air by Mr. Shortt. He was also holding a Joysticks' Tour 2000 sign. About 500 Stereolab fans passed by in a single file line (the hall is narrow) and looked upon us in confusion. Many stopped however and enjoyed the show. Dr. Spectt even decided to lend a hand in the noise making for a couple of seconds. Near the conclusion of the show, one authority type questioned, "Do you have a license to perform here." Too busy playing to answer, we kept silent, but Manny Theiner interjected, "They have a license to rock!" And, the authority figure moved on. By the time we concluded our set, no one was there to applaud.   June 6: Day Off.   June 7, 2000: Virginia Manor Giant Eagle, 1:30 PM - Richard and I performed by shopping and playing instruments simultaneously. Instruments used were a Gameboy Entertainment Machine and a microcassette player with science kit recordings. Many people starred. We continued. As we were approaching the end of the performance, one observer commented, "Oh my goodness what is that?" The finale of the performance came as we were walking towards the Spaztik mobile and spotted some lady next to it. Richard set off his alarm from a distance, causing the lady to jump and a mild chaos broke loose in the parking lot.   June 8: Day Off. June 9: Day Off.   June 10, 2000: Cochran Road Wendy's, 7:00ish - Richard entered the Wendy's drive through. Richard ordered a small french fries. Richard paid with a $100 bill. They didn't have enough money to give him the correct change. The employee had to get the manager to unlock something in order to give him the correct change. Massive car build up after the 5 minute delay. Anarchy.   June 11, 2000: Scott Park, 7:30 PM - The Gregg Gillis graduation party was held here. DJ Kill(a/er) got the party jumpin during the afternoon as he DJed using a Tascam 4-track and his home computer system. He mixed some of his own material with such party starters as Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go!", Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now", Positive K's "I Got A Man", and Wreckx-N-Effect's "Rump Shaker". Family and friends gathered as the Joysticks' were getting ready to perform at around 7:30 PM. A storm began to move in as we were near ready to start. I messed with the 4-track that was playing my audio collage of Vitamin C's "Graduation Song" as Richard began the destruction in the middle of the park. Moments into the performance, it started to pour, and that just added to the chaos. I left the 4-track to play on its on and entered the rain to assist in the destruction. The tape continued to play the cut-up sounds of rearranged pop, and Vitamin C never sounded so good. After most of the machinery was destroyed Richard entered his car and drove over the grassy area in which the electronics were left. This was the first time we've ever incorporated cars into our destruction. By the time we concluded, most of my family was amazed, and the rest of the kids enjoyed the show.   June 12: Day Off. June 13: Day Off.   June 14, 2000: Raven Drive, the Jeff Wentz House, 7:00 PM - I showed up at the Jeff Wentz house not even knowing that this was a tour stop. In the backyard area about 10 high school-aged kids were swimming in a pool. I walked up to the deck area, took off my shoes, grabbed a radio (not mine) sitting close by, and jumped in the water. When I came to the top of the water, I noticed that the radio was no longer playing songs from the FM dial. Instead it was playing noises that sounded like a mixture between a science kit and a theramin. I could control the tone by waving the radio in the air. I continued to swim and make noises using the radio for the next 15 minutes. No applause at the conclusion of the performance.   June 15: Day off. June 16: Day off.   June 17, 2000: Club Laga, Pittsburgh, PA - Mr. Shortt and I arrived in the lobby area of Club Laga at approximately 10:30 PM, perfect timing to run into the crowd leaving the Legendary Pink Dots and Dead Voices on Air show. Similar idea as the first lobby show, but different equipment this time around. This was the first performance in which we utilized the newly inherited Kawasaki Digital Synthesizer Electronic Drum Kit. Mr. Shortt and I also used the Hot Keyz electronic guitar and the first batch of official Joysticks' tour posters. We were rocking out as hard as physically possible, using kitchen utensils as drum sticks, and attracted a small crowd. Security members from the club came to the lobby eventually, first looking at us in confusion, then demanding that we leave their property. The show concluded with one authority type saying, "The cops will be here in 5 minutes."   June 18 - 24, 2000: Saporito Residence, Ryan Drive, Pgh., Pa. - This was a Richard solo performance in which he managed to stay in his house for a straight week. There was no other human interaction, other than with his immediate family. Plenty of sounds were made throughout the week, whether it was Richard watching the television, making noise on his computer, or eating. He received a small amount of applause at various points within the week from his brother. This was the first leg of the "Anti-Social subTour 2000."   June 25, 2000: St. Mary's, Pennsylvania - This show was another portion of the "Anti-Social subTour 2000" and our first outside of Pittsburgh. I sat at a family gathering, with a crowd of approximately 40, performing with an empty Sprite can. I flicked it, stomped on it, and even bit into the side of it. Right in the middle of the 30 minute show, one unknown person questioned, "What are you doing?" I responded, "I'm on tour." No overwhelming applause at the end of this performance, but my father did say, "That was great."   June 26: Day off. June 27: Day off.   June 28, 2000: Ohio State University Lincoln Tower Dorm Suite 2100, Columbus, Ohio - Continuing on the road, we concluded the "Anti-Social subTour 2000" with our finale in the Ohio State University dormitories. A group of college freshman gathered in a room, talking about the Sammy Sosa trade and studio wrestling tactics, while Richard concentrated on performing a set with his Nintendo Gameboy. The set was barely audible but still powerful. Tetris Music Type A was the focus of the piece.   June 29: Day off.   June 30, 2000: Scott Park, Pittsburgh, Pa. - After the conclusion of the "Anti-Social subTour 2000", we returned home, where one of our high school's socially elite females, Lisa Scorzafave, was holding her graduation party, complete with a DJ and flashing lights. The party was coming to a close, as the DJ played the last song of the evening: "Graduation Song" by Vitamin C. The girls of the party formed a circle, with arms around the people beside them, to demonstrate their love for each other. They began to sway back and forth, as everyone else in the party stood on the perimeter to observe this touching moment. This is the exact moment when Richard and I made a running entrance into the building. I was taping the show with a video camera, and Richard began to break it down on the dance floor, Joysticks-breakdance-style. All attention was drawn away from the music and the girls' circle of friendship, as Richard began raising the roof and doing the running man. His hyperactive dance moves sent him bumping into tables, chairs, and people. We exited the building after 15 seconds of performing and concluded the set with a stare down with people following us out of the building. Richard and I agreed that this was definitely one of the top shows of the tour so far.   July 1, 2000: Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, Pa. - We've played shows with Solex, Evolution Control Committee, Lockweld, O.R.I., and so on, but this tour stop finally allowed us to play with some artists that we truly respect for their artist talents and contributions to music. It was an honor to headline in the parking lot over Poison, Cinderella, Dokken, and Slaughter. They forgot to put us on the guest list, so Richard and I had to pay the $15 ticket price to see the other bands in action. But, wow, it was worth it! All four bands played amazing sets, it was like 5 straight hours of non-stop guitar solos. Plus, the pyrotechnic systems were unbelievable! Poison closed with "Talk Dirty to Me" and a short noise jam, and then, it was our time to perform. I think that most of the crowd forgot that the Joysticks were actually headlining the show, as we only got a few drunk wandering people to show up at our car. This didn't stop us from performing a stellar set however. Equipment used included the Kawasaki Digital Synthesizer Electronic Drum Kit and a Casio SA-7 keyboard. We rocked at our car, which was parked strategically under a light, for approximately 10 minutes to our loyal fans. Looking back on the show, I think Poison had a slightly better set than us because of their fireworks, but we triumphed over the other 3 bands. Don't get me wrong, they were great, but we rocked a little harder.   July 2: Day off. July 3: Day off.   July 4, 2000: Ryan Drive, Pittsburgh, PA - Richard's father was putting on the 2nd Annual Saporito Backyard Fireworks Spectacular, and the Joysticks were selected as official DJs. The pyrotechnics show was amazing, as Mr. Saporito, equipped with goggles and flashlight glasses, lit off a series of fireworks that coordinated perfectly with the music selection. Songs included in order of presentation: Van Halen's "1984" and "Jump", Bruce Springsteen's "Born In The U.S.A.", Top Gun's anthem "Danger Zone", Eddie Money's "Tickets To Paradise", "Proud to be An American", Kate Smith's classic "God Bless America", and lastly a finale piece by DJ Kill(a/er) inspirationally titled "I like America." The end of the show brought about unexpected/malfunctioned ground level explosions that got the crowd of approx. 20 ducking for cover. Truly an amazing collaboration between the Joysticks and Mr. Saporito.   July 5: Day off. July 6: Day off. July 7: Day off.   July 8, 2000: Lauren Taylor Residence, Pittsburgh, PA - As darkness set into the Lauren Taylor graduation party, The Joysticks began preparations for our set. We had a car full of equipment for this performance but decided to just use the Kia car stereo instead. A crowd gathered in the front yard area as we hung two tour posters on the side of my vehicle, and a small arsenal of fireworks and electronics were placed in the middle of the road. The set began as I entered my car, rolled down the windows, and began to play our infamous Vitamin C remix on the car stereo. Joysticks' patented pyrotechnics and destruction shortly followed in the middle of the road. Highlights included fireworks and electronics hitting the car and the near-fight that broke out after our set. Apparently, we had some anti-Joysticks high school classmates in the audience, and their was a stand off between Richard and the three of them following our performance. Richard continued to highten tension between himself and these three "we're tough cause we play high school soccer" assholes. Due to the gathering of Joysticks' "fans", however, the numbers turned to our side, and the evening ended without a physical confrontation.   July 9, 2000: Giancarlo Dozzi Residence, Pittsburgh, PA - This was another graduation party performance, but this one took place indoors. Around 10-15 people were in the kitchen area when I plugged in a boombox and began to play, at maximum volume, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles adventure cassette. There were particular sections of the cassette where April O'Neil sounded like she was experiencing sexual pleasures. Using the "press rewind or fast forward while the play button is still activated technique," I remixed the story into a 5 minute long orgasm. Enthusiastic applause followed.   July 10: Day off.   July 11, 2000: EPL House, Pittsburgh North Side - Excellent house noise show featuring Northern Spy, Noumena + Sodium (Noudium), Goat, and Taint. The Joysticks also performed in the living room area before Taint began to play. Richard held up a tour poster, while I inserted a scratched up Dance Mix USA CD into their boombox. It was a sporadic 1 minute set of silence and bursts of skipping dance songs. No one there seemed really into it, but I thought we rocked that place.   July 12: Day off. July 13: Day off.   July 14, 2000: Millvale Industrial Theater, Pittsburgh -This was one of our first shows in a long time in which we were actually included on the bill, and it was also the official return of Joe! We were the first band of the evening, opening for Grand Buffet and some hardcore / metal bands. Our equipment included a bunch of science equipment (scales, various measuring devices), some scrap metal, a Compact Disc player, and a boombox. The boombox had an MTV Party to Go cassette in it and was our only equipment being run through the PA system. Richard, Joe, and I were equipped with two baseball bats and a hammer. We started our set off by pressing play on the tape deck, and within 2 seconds of the broken playback, I put a hammer directly through the machine. At this point, we had no other sound source other than the percussion from the three of us smashing equipment. The set couldn't have been more intense, it was 50 seconds of non-stop destruction. By the time most of the audience came running into the performance area to see what was going on, we were finished. This was honestly one of my favorite Joysticks' performance ever.   July 15: Day off.   July 16, 2000: Millvale Industrial Theater, Pittsburgh - Day 1 of Ultrasoniq. The first day of this experimental electronic music festival brought performances from Kactus Tribe (France), Zipperspy, Electro Organic Sound System (Boston), Darryl Hell (NYC), Panicsville (Chicago), Princess Dragon Mom, Hearing Trumpet (Detroit). Also included on day 1 was the first lobby area performance by the Joysticks. I went solo for this one, performing 5 seconds of a skipping Dance Mix USA compact disc. This was followed by enthusiastic applause from the packed in hallway.   July 17, 2000: Millvale Industrial Theater, Pittsburgh - Day 2 of Ultrasoniq. Francisco Lopez (Spain), Amy Denio (Seattle), Hazard (Sweden), Twine (Cleveland), Powder French, and Land all were scheduled to play the second day of the fest. I was again solo for my second lobby area performance. I felt I should increase the length of my set for the second day to top my first performance. Holding a tour poster in one hand, I pressed play on a boombox that had some prerecorded, unreleased Joysticks' material on it, and it immediately interrupted everyone's conversations. After 12 seconds of playback, I stopped the boombox by stepping on it with my foot. One confused fan commented moments after the performance, "Your (tour) poster doesn't say who you are." I replied, "Yeah." That was the conclusion of day 2.   July 18, 2000: Millvale Industrial Theater, Pittsburgh - Day 3 of Ultrasoniq. The final day of the Ultrasoniq Fest included performances by Fennesz (Austria), Pita (Austria), Marcus Schmickler a.k.a Pluramon (Germany), Keenan Lawler (Louisville), Colongib/Octopus Inc., and Spencer Luxe. The final performance of the festival was delivered by The Joysticks. This time, I had a boombox and a tour poster, but I stood in the crowd area during our performance. I pressed play on the boombox triggering cut-up pop music by the Joysticks. I stood there looking at the tour poster, while others joined me to watch the show. After 7 minutes I pressed "stop" with my forehead and about 4 people were left there to cheer.   July 19: Day off. July 20: Day off. July 21: Day off.   July 22, 2000: TWO SHOWS! Performance 1 = Matt Reinhold House, Suburbs of Pgh. - A pool full of people were enjoying the sounds of a pool-side tape deck until I began remixing their cassette by utilizing the "press rewind or fast forward while the play button is still activated technique." I was the only person clapping at the end of the event.   Performance 2 = Mt. Lebanon Subway Station to Three Rivers Stadium, Pgh. - Richard, on route to a Pittsburgh Pirates game at Three Rivers Stadium, came upon a box of late 1970s to early 1980s baseball cards. Taking a handful of approximately 100+ cards into possession, he planned the Pittsburgh-wide distribution of them. As he and his friends made their way to the baseball game, one could trace their path as Richard left piles of three or more cards behind him after ever 20 to 30 steps. The most memorable of such card placement could be found on one car's bumper, at the Mt. Lebanon subway station where the "performance" began, and at the Three Rivers Stadium ticket booth. Quite an enigmatic "show" if there ever was one.   July 23, 2000: Regent Theater, Penn Avenue, East Liberty, Pgh. - Aural Anatomy is an all day festival of local Pittsburgh experimental musicians, and the seventh installment of the show took place in the Regent Square Theater this year. The Joysticks were scheduled to play at noon, but we sent some friends to play as us. They got lost and didn't find the venue, but I still think we put forth an amazing performance. I was shopping at Trader Jack's Flea Market, Richard was sleeping, and Joe was working.   July 24: Day off. July 25: Day off. July 26: Day off.   July 27, 2000: M.I.T., PA - We were officially on the bill for this show, along with punk / hardcore bands such as Social Scare, McCarthy Commission, and Gravity's Revenge. In our first punk rock performance ever, we played in the back of the MIT directly out of amplifiers without assistance from the PA system. Richard was sporting a home-made, "I'm punk rock. Just look at my spikey hair and patches," T-shirt, Matt Wellins (subbing in for Joe) had a Dokken shirt, and I, of course, was in my sleeve-less Bon Jovi T-shirt. We decided to play this show in "rock mode," equipped with two electronic guitars and an electronic (toy) drum kit. Right as one of the bands was finishing up their set, we began to cover two non-working speakers in rubber cement. Once they officially stopped playing, we lit the speakers and the general area in front of us on fire while we all began to rock out, knocking over tons of equipment. We kicked the flaming shrapnel into the audience area and lit tour posters on fire, complete havoc broke loose for 4 solid minutes. As all of our working equipment began to fade out, Richard screamed, "We're fucking punk rock!" into a microphone, and that was the conclusion of the set.   July 28: Day off.   July 29, 2000: Neville Ice Arena, South Side Pgh. - "And Now For Something Completely Different" <http://pbs.chemlab.org/show.html>. This was an excellent show with many great artists from around the world. We were scheduled to perform at 12:00 AM in a respectable 15 minute time slot. Up until that time, we enjoyed the rest of the festivities watching the many hardcore / gabber / noise / etc. artists on the bill. We experienced some problems setting up, as most of the other artists simply had computers or turntables to run into the PA system. Our lengthy set-up time and arsenal of equipment (other than the usual electronics, we were equipped with crutches, pool tools, and some other obscure objects) attracted a large crowd into our performance area. The intro to our set consisted of a high-pitched tone which led into the theme music to "The A-Team," where we replaced the words "A-Team" with "The Joysticks Battle the Scan Feed Relay to Your Skull." During this intro period, we came walking in from the side of the venue with paper bags (with eye holes cut out) over our heads. Then, a prerecorded loop of Richard saying, "Raves are for fucking idiots," began to play. We had many pieces of working equipment ready to destroy the audience with electronic noise, but moments into the show, most our electricity was kicked out of the wall and we somehow damaged their PA system to the point of not working. It didn't stop us from destroying an abundance of electronics though. I actually think we broke more machines this show than any other performance in the past. Certain fireworks were thrown into the chaos, and people also began to throw watermelons (we didn't bring these) into the middle of the destruction. Other performers, such as DJ Hellraver from NYC, decided to join the Joysticks for an evening, jumping right into the middle of the performance. As the trio of full-time Joysticks stopped, the performance kept on going because of all the other people throwing / banging /destroying things. All control was lost, and the set eventually concluded with great applause from the audience.   July 30, 2000: South Side of Pittsburgh, In an Alley - At 3:00 AM, the Joysticks ride home turned into a performance as we had to take an alternate route because of a wreck on East Carson Street. While minding our business and rocking out to "Two Tickets to Paradise," I had to maneuver around an oncoming car which led us directly into a curb, resulting in two flat tires. The rest of the performance continued in an alley way as part-time Joysticks, Mike Lopresti and Chris Tokarcyzk, aided in changing tires / making noise for the next 30 minutes. Mike clapped at the end of this performance. The encore took place at my house, finally returning at 6:00 AM, where I lit off a roman candle in my backyard.   July 31, 2000: Washington, D.C. Greyhound Station - Transferring buses, I did a 30 second piano solo in Washington, DC.   August 1, 2000: Richmond, Virginia, Greyhound Station - At 3:15 AM, I manipulated the Casio SA-9's "computer" preset and "emergency" performance sound to a small crowd. Catching this performance with a camera while still playing brought in most of the attention.   August 2: Day off. August 3: Day off.   August 4, 2000: Nagshead, NC - In front of a crowd of afternoon movie ticket buyers, I controlled the many performance sounds on the Casio SA-9 in the rain. No official applause at the conclusion of this performance, but reactions in the form of laughter were definitely detected.   August 5, 2000: TWO SHOWS! Performance 1 = Somewhere in West Virginia - In a small community of shops, I placed 3 separate CDrs filled with 74 minutes of computer generated noise 5 feet apart from each other on a cement wall.   Performance 2 = Oakland Beehive, Pittsburgh, PA - We decided to send decoys (the members of Grand Buffet) to play as us for this show. I think they went in costumes and did impressions of us, but I'm not exactly sure what happened. Lord Grunge gave me the following review in an email:   "to my knowledge, no one got dick on video. which sucks. because we rocked. actually, YOU rocked. it was officially: THE JOYSTICKS BATTLE THE SCAN FEED RELAY TO YOUR SKULL Present GIANT BLOWJOB   cardboard men felated a huge six foot dildo to a fifteen minute nonstop loop of the chorus to vitamin c's SMILE   it rivaled one of your many masterpieces. PEACE anD LOVE LORD grunge (aka honorary agent valence)"   August 6: Day Off.   August 7, 2000: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA - AC/DC played Pittsburgh this night, and Brian Johnson's lack of fluids resulted in a cramp that got progressively worse within the evening. Rumors had it during the show that it was a heart attack. Although we technically did nothing for this performance, I still think it was a pretty good set.   August 8: Day Off. August 9: Day Off. August 10: Day Off. August 11: Day Off. August 12: Day Off. August 13: Day Off.   August 14, 2000: Spaztik Residence - While testing input levels on Richard's stereo during the Joysticks' preparation session for the Farewell Performance, Dr. Spaztik picked up the phone, dialed a random number, and screamed, "JOYSTICKS 2000!" In an effort to instill some sort of disciplinary corrections, the recipient then *69'ed Dr. Spaztik. His angered rantings of telephone mis-usage were met with enormous amounts of feedback and incoherent mumbling causing an ultimate hang-up. Telephonic anarchy.   August 15: Day Off. August 16: Day Off.   AUGUST 17, 2000: GREGG GILLIS RESIDENCE - FINAL SHOW EVER! Featuring... The Joysticks, Grand Buffet (mini disc based hip-hop), Dogg and Pony (NY Hip Hop), The Deepthroats (SanFran riot punk), Vox Robotica, land. (droney experimental), The Modey Lemon (bluesy rock), Matt Wellins (avant-garde), Collision With Audio, and the return of Computer Phoniks (computer noise/experimentation).         Questions? Comments. OOBS